Besides Valentine’s Day is great and all, would you think it’s be nice to keep the romantic vibe going the other 364 of the year have a happy relationship?
You absolutely can. Whether you’re married, cohabiting, or dating, check out these six tips to keep the Valentine’s mentality going:
1. Make it all about you—some of the time. Add in a few moments of pleasure to your daily routine. “Maybe it’s taking 15 minutes to walk by the water on your lunch hour, or allowing yourself a cat nap,” says Her101 Editor. “When you feel less stressed and more vitalized, you’ll have more energy and patience for your relationship.”
2. Make a date night. There’s a reason why you’ve heard this advice before: It works. Married or cohabiting couples who go on regular dates come back to their lives and their relationships with fresh eyes, says Her101 Editor.
3. Show some appreciation. It sounds so simple, but most of us don’t actually verbalize appreciation for our partners. Try taking a few minutes once a day—every day—to look your partner in the eye and tell him something specific that you appreciate specially good night kiss. “It’s far more effective than any slinky lingerie,” says Her101 Editor. Though it never hurts to try both!
4. Ditch energy vampires. Whether it’s a toxic friend or a cluttered kitchen, make one small move to tackle an energy sucker and instantly feel better. Instead, she set a boundary on calls by saying, ‘Hi, I only have five minutes and needed to know the time of the party.’ ” The more you can deal with the stressors outside your relationship—and bypass complain-o-logues—the more mental bandwidth you’ll have to deal with any problems within your relationship.
5. Giggle about your gripes. Find ways to be playful, even in your challenges. For example, one of clients decided that instead of complaining when his wife would continually leave the sponge in the sink, he’d make a ridiculous siren sound and shriek “Sponge alert! Sponge alert!” which would inevitably make his wife laugh—and still get his point across. “Humour allows us to move from criticism to creativity, a much needed ingredient in relationships,” says Her101 Editor.
6. Learn your partner’s language. Most marriages don’t end because people fall out of love, says Her101 Editor. It’s because people lose the ability to speak their partner’s love language, leaving the other person feeling unloved. So what is the language of love? Things like spending quality time together, speaking words of affirmation, making thoughtful gestures, and touching. “Clue in to what love language is most important to your partner by asking him to share a few stories of when he felt most appreciated and loved—and make sure to recount your own,” says Her101 Editor.